Get Your Free Audio Lesson on
the Power of the Pattern Interrupt
Close
Is it possible that our whole idea of success is wrong? Could it be true that the value we place on achievement, hard work, reward for effort, self mastery and goal setting actually causes more harm than good?
Check out this video from the famous modern day English philosopher Alain De Botton on the flaws in our ideas of success, and have a think about how this applies to our work as hypnotists, and creators of change.
Alain De Botton: A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy of Success
What’s the core message from this video? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section, but here are my impressions.
Keep working hard, keep being all you can be. Just realize that what you think you want – what society tells you that you want – may not be what you’re really after.
Relax your ideas of success, and open yourself up to new possibilities. Do everything you can to succeed, but realize that success is not objective. It is what you make it – so make it what you want.
The insights about not judging people based on these societal measures of success are also very profound. Something the famous hypnotist Igor Ledochowski (interviewed here) once said to me was never judge people based on how much value you think they have, or whether or not you ‘like’ them, simply ask yourself “what can I learn from this person.”
Whilst I love many of the ideas in the world of self development, often the perspectives it endorses are very narrow minded and simplistic. See the shades of grey, and success will be a lot brighter, and a lot more real.
Cheers!
Nathan Thomas
Carrol McHenry Jr August 14th, 2011 at 3:05 pm
very nice post, and very timely, for me anyways…
I see a couple of ideas at work here, first, the idea that we often allow others (from individual people to mass media) to define our level of success and/or failure. We should judge ourselves based on our own goals and not allow these outside forces to define us. As I always say… My self esteem comes from MYSELF. Your opinion of me is your opinion, not mine. If you have a problem with me then you have a problem, not me.
Secondly, that there is “social engineering” being conducted and it’s been going on for a long time. I’m amazed that the more I learn and understand the concepts of hypnosis and nlp, the more I see it being used in everything from advertising to newscasts. I have evolved into a firm believer that the best thing we as hypnotists can do for society, is to teach it the art of hypnosis. I am on the verge of leaving my job at a big corporate bank (waiting till after my next quarterly bonus) and focusing on doing just that. some would view that as a move away from success, but I am proudly not one of them.
Linda August 14th, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Excellent talk! Thank you so much for sharing, Nathan!
I really like the perspective that Mr. De Botton put on the experience of loss vs being “a loser”. Living in America, we really are bombarded with it everyday, particularly in the current times w/ many advocating that anyone receiving any type of public assistance is just “lazy” and suffering entitlement issues. I mean if little Andrew Carnegie, a lowly Scottish immigrant can go from a measly grunt worker in the factory working his way up to messenger boy all the way through the ranks to the steel tycoon w/ wealth comparable to Rockefeller, then what is our excuse, right?
As a hypnotist, if I am taking on every experience of loss as my personal identity and being aware that such a small percentage of my communication w/ any person in front of me that I am hypnotizing is the spoken word, then what does that do to my level of intent if my body language and tone of voice are just screaming “I’m a Loser!”? How successful am I going to be helping a person with change or any other thing that they hope to experience?
I’m also a mother of 3, my oldest being just a bit younger than you, so in my number of years as a mom, I can see how the media carries their messages to children who are like little sponges! One of my all time favorite movies also teaches some of what Mr. De Botton is speaking. The moral behind the movie Monsters, Inc. is great! When the monsters are trying to power their world by scaring the children, they did get a bit of energy that they needed BUT when they saw the energy produced by 1 little girl giggling and giggling, the energy output multiplied 4-5 times! When I see haphazard experience as just that-haphazard and move on, knowing that I am successful at somethings I attempt and that life just happens and that’s ok, then my intent is multiplied 4-5 times as well because I am NOT a loser. I am a hypnotist!
Thanks again for sharing this and for all that you do to help all in our wonderful profession,
Linda